Iggy and Gazzy aren't getting anythin for Chistmas
by hayley18
Summary: Iggy and Gazzy songfic to 'I'm getting nothing for Christmas.' I prefer to call it a late Christmas present. : two shot
1. Chapter 1

**I'm getting' nothing for Christmas by Smash Mouth and Rosie O' Donnell (oh yeah, I went there)**

Gazzy's POV

"You're not going to get anything for Christmas if you keep acting out, Gazzy," Angel told me after I had rearranged Iggy's furniture in his room.

I rolled my eyes and took another bite of my PB&J sandwich. "Okay Angel," I said. I couldn't tell her that Santa wasn't real. It would ruin her childhood dream of becoming an elf in the North Pole with all the penguins.

"No, I'm serious, Gazzy. Even if Santa's not real, Dr. M and Max won't get you anything. I heard Fang and Max talking about all the bad things you have been doing this year," Angel tried again. I resisted the urge to punch her for being a goody-two shoe.

"Oh yeah? What have I done that's so horrible this year?" I asked sarcastically. Angel cleared her throat and I groaned knowing that she was actually about to list everything.

"First, you broke your new wiffle bat on Iggy's head. He didn't talk to you for a week," Angel said.

Max walked in and started making herself a bowl of soup.

"Oh yeah, and you put a frog in my bed. It was nasty," Angel told me. Max stifled laughter.

"Technically it was a toad," I corrected Angel. She just rolled her eyes and continued.

"What about spilling that ink on my carpet in my room?" Max chimed in. Angel nodded her way and smirked at me, letting me know that I was going to lose this fight.

"No way. Iggy gave me the ink," I defended myself. Max smirked and rolled her eyes, still not looking at neither Angel nor me.

Iggy, ironically, walked in and bumped Max on the head with uncanny accuracy.

"Who said you could come into my kitchen and start making things?" he asked Max rhetorically. "Get out before you blow something up. Thank God Fang isn't in here, otherwise you'd blow-"

"Enough! There are kids in here," Max told him, gesturing to me and Angel. Iggy snorted.

"They've heard it all before," Iggy said.

"Anyways, what about the time you made Nudge eat that bug? Hmm?" Angel pointed out, continuing our prior conversation.

Iggy laughed. "Oh yeah, I remember that! Nudge wouldn't eat anything for a week for fear that the bug was still alive and it would crawl back up her throat," he said. "Wait, are we talking about bad things that the Gasman has done?"

"Yeah, but only bad things he's done this year," Angel explained. Iggy nodded in understanding ad got a faraway look on his face.

"Did you mention when he-"

"Yeah, that was the first thing we mentioned," Angel said sweetly. Iggy glared at her.

"Sometimes you're just annoying with that mind-reading power," he said, half-joking, half-serious. Angel stuck her tongue out at him. "Oh, real mature."

"Oh! I have another one! What about the time he used a penny slug to buy a pack of gum?" Max suggested. I shot her a glare and she glared back. She won, like always.

"What's a 'penny slug,' Max?" Angel asked innocently.

"A counterfeit penny. You know, a not-real penny," Max tried to explain to her.

"The real crime there was that the gum was only a cent. It was horrible, too," I told her. She smiled and rolled her eyes. Was there some kind of eye-rolling epidemic going around? Seemed like it. In the headlines tomorrow it would say 'E1R1: the new H1N1 that rolls your eyes!'

"I told you, Gazzy! You're getting nothing for Christmas. Plain and simple," Angel followed up.

"I'm going to get _something _for Christmas," I snapped.

"No you're not because Max and Fang are mad at you _all the time. _And when they're mad, you don't get anything!" Angel snapped back.

"Guys, guys! No fighting at lunchtime! Not when I'm hungry!" Max said.

"Whatever," I said.

"What about the time that Gaz put the tack on Ella's chair when she was trying to teach us stuff?" Iggy suggested. I shot him a glaring look but he continued. "And then there was that time when he tied a knot in Angel's hair that took us a week to get out. That was torture."

"Oo! Are we talking about bad stuff Gazzy's done?" Nudge walked in asking.

"Yep, got any?" I said, venom coursing through the words.

Nudge coiled back a bit but retaliated. "Remember the time when he tried to dance outside and stepped all over Max's garden and ruined her plants?" Nudge said, shooting me a smug grin.

"He tore his pants climbing a tree once," Fang chimed in, coming into the kitchen. Iggy shot a smirk at Max and she glared back at him.

"Or when he filled the sugar bowl with ants and Iggy didn't know the difference so he put them in the cookies and Max ate one and barfed?" Ella said, stepping into the kitchen and sitting next to me. She ruffled my hair and I shied away from her.

"Okay, fine! I get it! I'm not going to get anything for Christmas!" I snapped, a sour look crossing my face.

"Would you say that you learned your lesson for next year?" Max asked, a smirk planted on her face. She and Fang shared a look and Fang nodded. Max smiled a real smile, then.

"Yes, yes! I've learned my lesson. No more pranks!" I caved in. I'm so weak…

"Yes, you are," Angel replied to my thought. She smiled angelically and left the room. Everyone looked at me, wondering what I had thought. I huffed and went outside for a fly.

_I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas  
Mommy and Daddy are mad.  
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas  
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad._

I broke my bat on Johnny's head;  
Somebody snitched on me.  
I hid a frog in sister's bed;  
Somebody snitched on me.

I spilled some ink on Mommy's rug;  
I made Tommy eat a bug;  
Bought some gum with a penny slug;  
Somebody snitched on me.

CHORUS  
Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas  
Mommy and Daddy are mad.  
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas  
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad.

I put a tack on teacher's chair;  
Somebody snitched on me.  
I tied a knot in Suzy's hair;  
Somebody snitched on me.  
I did a dance on Mommy's plant.  
Climbed a tree and tore my pants.  
Filled that sugar bowl with ants;  
Somebody snitched on me.

CHORUS  
Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas  
Mommy and Daddy are mad.  
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas  
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad.

So you better be good whatever you do  
'Cause if you're bad, I'm warning you,  
You'll get nuttin' for Christmas.

**So, I was thinking about Christmas cos it's snowing outside and I heard this song. I have a version for Iggy as well, so I'll post that 2day 2.**

**Also, what are you guys doing for New Years? Anyone going to Times Square to see the ball drop? I always go a lighthouse to watch the sunrise, so that's where I'll be at six-ish in the morning. Yay.**

**~Hayley **


	2. Chapter 2

**Iggy's turn. I don't own anythingggg!!!**

**IPOV**

After watching (or hearing, in my case) Gazzy run off, Max turned towards me.

"You, on the other hand, are _definitely_ not getting anything," she said. I rolled my eyes, just to creep her out. Sure enough, I think I heard her shiver.

"Igs, you've done some horrible stuff," Fang backed Max up, like always. Why couldn't they just get together already?

"Yeah? Like what?" I asked, hoping they wouldn't answer. I knew everything bad I've done this year. Hopefully they didn't.

"Well, you stole my mom's car nd took it for joy ride. Whereas, you're _blind!_" Max said.

"No. Really? I hadn't noticed," I told her sarcasm just dripping through my voice.

"And also, you stabbed a picture of a clown," Ella said.

"That was a clown?" Nudge asked.

"What about when you took the neighbor's dead bird and dissected it?" Fang suggested. He was going to die first, I decided.

"Yeah and when he snuck that gun onto our plane when we went on Spring break," Nudge said. "Thank God we didn't get caught. I don't even know why we went on Spring break. It's not like we go to school or anything. It was a dumb vacation, too. All we did was shop. Nevermind, it was a good vacation." Nudge stopped when she noticed everyone glaring at her.

"Or what about the time he called Fng in for help wth something and it turned out to be porn! Oh my God, Fang came out of Igy's room and wouldn't look at a girl for days," Ella said.

"I still barely can," Fang chimed in.

"Or when he handcuffed me to a chair, shaved my head and stole my cash," Max said, no doubt glaring at me. I looked away from her and let them continue.

"Remember the one time Dr. M took us to Sunday mass and either iggy or Gazzy farted nd everyone heard it?" Nudge said, smiling to herself.

"I told you guys that that was Gazzy," I said. They ignored me and kept going.

"Or the time when he kicked Fang's ass for chickening out of asking Max out," Ella said. Max gave Fang a look.

"Oh, so you were going to ask me out?" Max asked, seductiveness evident in her voice.

"Um, what about when he tried smoking pot?" Fang changed the subject.

"Wait, I wasn't finished with you," Max said gong over to sit on Fang's lap. Fang stiffened up, not liking the closeness. Max laughed and sat next to him instead. He relaxed and went back to bad talking me.

"Plus all the horrible things you say about me and Fang I front of the kids," Max added. I sighed.

"Are you finished?" I asked, hoping.

"Yeah, sure," Max said. I hopped up and ran to my room where I started cracking up. They didn't even know te half of it!

**So now tht this is over, does anyone have any questions, comments, or whatever? Suggestions for other stories? **

**~Hayley**

_I stole a car and sped through town;  
Somebody snitched on me.  
I stabbed to death a circus clown;  
Somebody snitched on me.  
I dissected the neighbor's pet,  
Snuck a gun on board a jet,  
Searched for porn on the internet;  
Somebody snitched on me._

_Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas,  
Mom and her boyfriend are mad.  
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas,  
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad._

_I handcuffed Susie to a chair;  
Somebody snitched on me.  
Stole her cash and shaved her hair;  
Somebody snitched on me.  
I farted during Sunday mass,  
Went kung-fu on Tyler's ass,  
Smoked pot during English class;  
Somebody snitched on me._

_Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas,  
Stepmom and Daddy are mad.  
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas,  
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad._

_So you better be good, whatever you do,  
'Cause if you're bad I'm warning you,  
You'll get nuttin',  
You'll get nuttin',  
You'll get jack-shit for Christmas._


	3. AN

Hey guys! Check out my poll! It's an Adventure Poll meaning you get to go on an adventure without leaving the comfort of your room! There will be random different choices but I'll continue the story using the most picked one. Go and vote right now!

Thanks guys! :) Have a nice life!

~Hayley


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you guys so much for viewing my stories! I've never had so many views in my entire life! 1.37K is a helluva lot, don't you think?

I'd just like to thank everyone that viewed my stories and encourage you guys to check out my poll on my profile. Go vote now :) please? Hahaha

~Hayley

PS leave me a review if you want me to read one of your stories and give you a critique :) I love critiques


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